Major Newspaper Reporting That Someone on Twitter Thinks Jonas Is Out for 6-8 Weeks

Chris Brunskill

Spoiler Alert: Nobody knows anything.

Yesterday, I awoke to the news that Jonas Gutierrez would miss the next 8 weeks of action with some sort of injury following his collision with Yossi Benayoun on Sunday. It came from a Twitter account that I'm typically skeptical of, so I waited. And waited. And waited. Even the blogs that pick up ev-er-y-thing weren't touching this story. So I put it in my pocket and decided that it was probably bogus and didn't require comment.

Then, last night, the following headline came across my RSS reader: "Jonas Gutierrez Could Be Out Until Christmas." Wow, maybe the report was actually right. Let's open this up and see.

Wait a minute - you're telling me that the report contains nothing else but a tweet (not even linked) from someone claiming to be Jonas' sister, in reply to a fan who asked about his availability? So now the entire purpose of a newspaper is to add a terrible pun for a headline and a photo that does nothing to illuminate the story? As it turns out, the article maybe should have contained the following words, no more, no less:

Journalism is dead.

By the way, we still don't know anything about Jonas' condition. More when news actually breaks.

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