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ZOMG! They're All LEAVING!!11!1 Newcastle United and the Final Day Of The Transfer Window

Tell it, Spiderman.  Tell it.
Tell it, Spiderman. Tell it.

Newcastle United are sat with 17 hours remaining in the transfer window still with needs within the squad - assuming that there are no exits tomorrow. What's that you say? Surely the club wouldn't sell a major player at the 23rd hour and 59 minutes with no plan in place to replace that player, would they? Perhaps not any longer. The sale of The Benign Ponytail (or The Most Expensive British Player In The History of Ever™, The Former No. 9 Shirt or Andy Carroll if you must) was painful at the time, but the end result (i.e. the funding of a large portion of our current starting XI) has earned Mike Ashley a certain degree of leeway in these matters. We shouldn't forget that it would have been easy to sell off assets in January last year... following a tremendous start to the season a mid-season dip in form could have convinced Ashley "ehh... it's not there yet. Let's retool a bit." It did not, and he did not... and so we head into this final day not knowing what to expect.

Well... at least not totally. After the jump, things we can expect!

  1. Cheik Tiote will be sold to Chelsea. And Tottenham. And Liverpool. And Arsenal. And Manchester Unite.
  2. Yohan Cabaye will be sold to Barcelona. And Arsenal.
  3. Demba Ba will be sold to Chelsea, Arsenal, Tottenham, PSG, Galatasaray and probably someone else (I've a call in to Harry Redknapp to find out who else might activate his "release clause")
  4. Douglas will sign for Fulham
  5. We will not fortify our striker ranks or our defensive ranks. Ryan Taylor's not so excellent adventure during the match today demonstrates exactly how pat we are at the defensive positions.

In all seriousness, I don't expect any of our star men to be sold on. It's going to take waaayyy over the odds to prise any of the above listed players out of the set up at St. James' Park. It just doesn't make good business sense (and we know that is what Ashley is basing his decisions upon) to sell these players now with the club desperately needing a rousing follow-up to last year's league success in addition to now having qualified for the group stage of the Europa League. Not only will shopping Cabaye and Tiote and the like about in Europe with many eyes upon them stand to raise their potential value next summer, the continental image of the club could use a booster shot. Many,. many carts and many many horses... and they all sometimes look like a chicken/egg scenario.

With all that said- This is your Transfer Window live thread for all things transfer related (not just specifically NUFC). Reason things out. Panic. Scream. Cuss (a little.) Do whatever you need to do as the minutes tick painfully away.