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How Much Do You Love Alan Pardew? (Video)

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Yesterday, I received an email from my friend and colleague Graham MacAree of the excellent Chelsea blog We Ain't Got No History that simply said, "You might want to watch this. It's the most incredible thing that's ever been connected to Alan Pardew." Immediately I had two thoughts:

  1. Finally, all of the tireless hours I spent constructing a fanfiction involving Pardew, Yohan Cabaye, and myself is getting the recognition it deserves.
  2. Oh, he must have seen the Crystal Palace "Glad All Over" video.

As it turns out, it was a fan video, featuring what appears to be a series of hastily-photoshopped images of Pardew with a 20-something German girl, complete with transitions that look to be straight out of PowerPoint 1997. Oh, and there's a techno-ish song from 1995 performed by something called "Blümchen" playing in the background. (Wikipedia assures me that Blümchen is an actual person who has in fact produced actual music that you can actually buy. What a world.) At various points in the video, Alan's face is superimposed onto her boyfriend's (presumably), he serves her some tea (of course!), and apparently he joins her for a literal roll in the hay (in her hometown, naturally. Pards is so respectful). Also she is a member of Newcastle United or something.

What have we learned today? However much you think you love Alan Pardew, you don't love him as much as 20Kristina09. Cheer up, Kristina. He'll be back on the touchline in no time.