Meet Massadio Haïdara, if not the most Premiership-ready player he is certainly the one that has most quickly endeared himself to the Newcastle United Twitterati thanks to this picture which appears to show him in bed in his new Toon jersey (from his verified Twitter account):
Even if that's not specifically the case, it's made a lot of people really happy already.
The Massadio Haïdara Player Card
Birth Date: Dec 2, 1992
Height: 1.81m (5' 10")
Weight: 76 kg (168 lb)