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Newcastle United Transfer Latest: All the "Swoops" and "Derisory Bids" You Can Handle

Yohan Cabaye is drawing interest, as we expected. How much will it take for him to leave? Not £14 million.

Mike Hewitt

The close of the transfer window is coming up, so let's take a look at the latest Newcastle United transfer news rumblings guesses from the weekend. Are you geared up for a day of total inaction like I am? Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Transfer news: Newcastle reject Yohan Cabaye bid from PSG | Sky Sports
£14 million in January earns you the right to maybe think about purchasing Cabaye's right boot, but oh no you've been thinking about it too long now and you're going to have to insert more quarters just go ahead and hang up. PSG are totally trying to Newcastle Newcastle. It's some pretty good performance art, if you stop and really consider it.

Manchester United consider bid for Newcastle's Yohan Cabaye | theguardian.com
Serious thought exercise: What could Newcastle do with £25 million in the last five days of the transfer window? Would it make up for the absence of Cabaye?

This is totally going to happen, isn't it?

Manchester United about to beat PSG to £24m midfield star? | The Busby Babe
Reactions in the comments at TBB range from "He's too old" (fair) to "Good enough for Noocassel but not for TEH UNITED!!one1!"

Inter Milan interest in Bafetimbi Gomis could force Newcastle's hand earlier than expected | Mail Online

Newcastle owner Mike Ashley wanted to bring in Gomis on a free transfer in the summer, after his contract runs out, but will not want to risk losing him if Inter make a late bid.

It's like they don't know anything about this club.

Newcastle United close to signing Luuk de Jong from Borussia Mönchengladbach | Hartlepool Mail
There's not really any new news here, but it's like the only thing Newcastle have going now so let's just pretend. The original stated goal was to have de Jong in uniform in time for Tuesday night's match with Norwich City. Tick tock, Clarice.

Cisse's future remains uncertain | The Northern Echo

As revealed in The Northern Echo last week, the possibility of a swap deal involving Cisse and De Jong has been discussed, but Besiktas and Trabzonspor are ready to offer the Senegal international a different route out of Newcastle. West Ham have also been credited with an interest.

Newcastle transfer news: Papiss Cisse can leave for £6million in summer as Qatar move beckons | Mirror Online
The big news is a £6 million buy-out clause that activates in July. We'll see. Also vague mention of the rumour du jour about the two Turkish clubs wanting him on loan now. Joining them are apparently Al-Rayyan of Qatar. If that happens, we can all write self-righteous articles about how far the mighty have fallen.

Newcastle’s forgotten midfielder Sylvain Marveaux wanted by French clubs | Shields Gazette
I found this when I went looking for confirmation of this rumor that seems to be mostly contained to secondary sources. Starforth cites nufc.com as his source here, so take this whole thing with two or three shakers overflowing with salt. (At least he names his sources!)

Canaries consider Magpies swoop | SportsDirect News
Let's link every player that ever played for Hughton to Norwich. #Swoop

Newcastle transfer news: Borussia Monchengladbach target Tim Krul to replace Barcelona-bound goalkeeper | Metro News
File this under "Hearsay" and "Head could be turned by Champs League football."

What news have you seen lately? Are there any players out there that could realistically work for us?