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So it's Christmas time and certain unalienable truths are expressing themselves once again. Newcastle are not and never will be a top-six side under Mike Ashley and Alan Pardew. We rediscover that, despite his failings, Shane MacGowan wrote a masterpiece in Fairytale of New York. I rediscover that I love Russian Christmas Music by Alfred Reed, but that's a symphonic band geek thing, so... if you have 15 minutes to spare and are also so afflicted... At any rate, it's a combination of the first two items that thrust me towards what I am gifting you for Christmas. If you are unaware of Fairytale of New York, please first check over this handy study guide:
Once you have familiarized yourself with the tune, please enjoy my tunesmithed version below. I started out differentiating voices through italics but obviously that was not sustainable... With my sincerest apologies to Mr. MacGowan, Happy Christmas!
It was Christmas Eve, babe
at St. James' Park.
An old man said to me
just like the last one
and then he sang a song
the rare old Geordie tune
I turned my face away
and dreamed of glory gone
Got on a lucky one
We beat Chelsea at home
Man City, Tottenham
Fell victim to us, too
So Happy Christmas
We lost the Derby
I yearn for a better time
when all our dreams come true
Southampton's got cash
and they've got catchment too
there's no sense in competing
just maintain good enough
IF we get all those Geordies to quiet their noise
we'll increase our measure of St. James' Park joys
We're unlucky
You're rubbish
despite this we love you
We'll follow you forev'r and down to Swansea
We pack in the Emirates, in Old Trafford too- were
loud in the Lane when admission was won
We full love you all from birth to death
forever black and white
despite our yearly loss
down in the shite
We're selling
Sissoko
You do
then we won't go
no more excuses
for Pardew again
48 is a pipe dream
we're not a top six team
Why can't you concede it
that 10th is enough?
We full love you all from birth to death
forever black and white
despite our yearly loss
down in the shite