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Newcastle United Academy Granted Category One Status

This is great. Really great.

If you've been living your life for the past 6 months or more in complete fear that Newcastle United's Academy would not be granted Category One status despite heavy investment very very late in the game from Mike Ashley, you can come out and enjoy the sun a little now.  No longer do you have to live in fear that Newcastle United's next Adam Armstrong would ultimately be pulling on a red or red-striped jersey.  The club have announced today in a two-part release on the official website that we will now be able to live as the poachers in EPPP and not live the fear-based existence of the poachee.

As with anything good that happens with the club, the process itself will be shrouded in mystery, but it is known that it was a very real danger that this would not be the ultimate outcome.  Almost-too-late investment from Mike "We Must Build From The Academy" Ashley and an eleventh hour £1.5 million investment from new sponsors Wonga have done their best "Papiss Cisse scores a goal" impersonation.  We'll dig into the EPPP and all again a little later on, but in the grandest Infomercial tradition: BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

You would be forgiven if you ended up missing this news on the official site if you were looking specifically for it as it is trundled in with the story about three youngsters signing their first professional contracts... which is awesome enough news on it's own.  England youth international striker Adam Armstrong and goalkeeper Freddie Woodman have signed along with Slovakian U-19 center back Lubomir Satka have pledged their immediate futures to the club.  In the grandest tradition of Positivity, welcome lads and may you score all the goals and/or prevent all the goals from being scored!