Michael Owen tweets, proves the correct way does not exist

The transfer window is about to slam shut,™ and Newcastle appear to be ready to let their glaring center back need go unaddressed. I'm not really one to wallow in misery, so let's take a look at what else is going on in the football world.

@Joey7Barton I agree but only one way to go once leaving there. Not many players leave a big club and improve playing lower down.

— michael owen (@themichaelowen) September 1, 2014

Oh man. So much is going on here. This might just be the most unintentionally funny tweet ever sent. Let's count the ways:

1. Michael Owen follows Joey Barton. Not really a surprise, but now that I know that, I kind of want to dig through their twitter histories and document every interaction they've ever had, for history's sake. There's a 100% chance that some undiscovered bit of gold is just waiting to be unearthed.

2. This is in reference to Danny Welbeck moving from Manchester United to Arsenal. Shots fired?

3. Ever made one of those moves yourself, Michael?

4. Here's a reminder that Joey Barton is now plying his trade for Queens Park Rangers, and once famously tweeted that he would never play in the Championship. He did so the very next year.

We all know that Barton loves to quote Nietzsche, then clumsily try to relate it to football somehow. A bit of philosophy for you, Joey.

It is impossible to suffer without making someone pay for it; every complaint already contains revenge.