Newcastle United Confirm There Is Nothing To Play For This Year

Newcastle United have confirmed that there is no further reason to pay attention to this club this season with today's announcement that John Carver will be in charge for the remainder of the 2014-15 Premier League campaign.  The announcement brings a close the need or desire to pay attention to the sparkly names that had been shifted around as potential head coach of the club which was really all we had left with a strong non-relegation end to the season always as the unstated revised goal.  There are some such as newly minted club mouthpiece The Chronicle who will state that a top-10 finish is still the goal but BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no.  With one point to Carver's credit in four competitive matches, the club's form doesn't suggest capability to achieve anything close to those "lofty heights".  In fact, the hope will be that we don't need to prepare for a real white-knuckle end to the season fighting for PL survival.

With many of the major names that have been connected with the head coaching job, there is very little surprise that Carver's announcement has occurred.  Once the club left for their Dubai "training camp", the handwriting was pretty well on the wall if it wasn't before that point.  What the club have done, however, (outside of put themselves in apparent danger this season) is put themselves in a position where many of the biggest names are back in play and put the pressure squarely back on Lee Charnley and Graham Carr to land one of those names or a dark horse candidate of similar reputation in order to come out of this smelling like roses as opposed to the more pungent odor that this fecal shower would suggest.

Early suggestions are that this delay has been accepted with the idea of pursuing Frank de Boer of Ajax who according to reports has been flirting with NUFC (if you believe that kind of thing) which has been run with by The Mouthpiece to the point that a vast majority of survey respondents on their site are now #TeamFrank.  Tomas Tuchel is now squarely back in the frame as he could be appointed without owing Mainz any compensation over the summer (yes, please) while Steve McClaren will also be back in the rumor mill if not squarely in full consideration.  In spite of reports some 10 days ago or so, Remi Garde is now being said to not want the job at all – in complete contrast to the "HIRE ME NOW" pleas that were being reported – as he is "not ready for a new adventure".  If you can take any of the things that you've read at face value (SPOILER ALERT: You can't) this should set up a little bit of concern that we can in fact get our man in the summer as Garde will have been told something or seen something that turned him off of the club.

At any rate, much in the way that a Sports Direct location could function for several months without a general manager, the same will be expected of Newcastle United and we are left hoping that we have a Premier League club left to offer Charnley's precious "big names" when it's all said and done.