Spurs to make 11th hour offer for Newcastle striker

The first part of Transfer Deadline Two Days passed for Newcastle United with minimal fuss.  Sure the club sold on Olivier Kemen, but the move barely registered in the general scheme of things as the player made more of an impact at the club saying that he'd like to play more than he made any kind of reputation by actually playing.  The only other real bit of information, however, was enough to get the collective hackles of the Toon Army up.

Late in the day on Monday, rumor broke that Daniel Levy had fallen, bumped his head and reportedly offered £15m for Ayoze Perez.  Bumping one's head is not always a bad thing.  Doc Brown bumped his head in 1955 and ended up inventing the Flux Capacitor.  It can, however, sometimes lead to a bout of tilting at the proverbial windmill.  The reported £15m on offer is a solid £20m lower than the going rate for young, highly regarded strikers sold on the final day of a transfer window by Newcastle United.  This is not even to mention that we have one striker (Papiss Cissé) rumored once again to be headed to Turkey and one striker (Aleksandar Mitrovic) suspended for three matches and also Yoan Gouffran rumored to be headed down the road as well.

I'm don't presume to the stature of being able to speak for Newcastle United, but please allow me to do exactly that.

Dear Mr. Levy and Tottenham Hotspur,

Thank you for your interest in our Spanish striker Ayoze Pérez.  He's a firecracker for sure and I don't blame you for falling in love with his future star.  Here's the thing though.  He's ours, and we don't need your money.  Especially at that price.  If you would like to submit an improved offer (somewhere in the neighborhood of a lot more than £15m), I would be more than happy to pen you another letter saying "No thank you."  Actually, just wander on and find someone else's striker to go after.

Kind regards,

Coming Home Newcastle