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UPDATE: Targett Deal Off, Per Sky

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No more puns. Too sad for puns.

Manchester United v Southampton - Premier League Photo by Michael Regan/Getty Images

We can’t have nice things. This much is known. Turns out, we can’t have decent things either.

Minutes after reports that a deal had been made and Matt Targett would be making his way to Newcastle, Sky Sports’ Keith Downie has rained on the Toon Parade:

For Newcastle fans hoping that the deal being off meant that another, better deal had been lined up, maybe a deal for Independiente left back Tagliafico, the second tweet indicates that, in fact, the deal fell through due to loan lengths.

This still leaves Newcastle dangerously thin at left back, attacking midfielder and striker. Surely not all these holes will be filled in the next four and a half hours, but hopes that any new players would come over the line are dwindling quickly.