It's prematch Friday, and I'm filling your head with knowledge.
We can't have just good news. We can't just enjoy the Yedlin signing.
"The word's an imperfect place. Screws fall out." Players get injured. Settle down.
We are close Grant Hanley. Dwight Gayle loves Rafa.
If I told you Rafa was signing Jesus would that improve your promotion hopes?
We're Colo heavy today, but that letter to the fans is a hot topic.
The team takes shape. Matt Ritchie is a Geordie. Townsend is not. Colo is gone. Is everyone OK?
Gayle and Ritchie in. Townsend and Gini out? Don't be afraid of change.
Finally, something of substance as Matz Sels signs. Dwight Gayle visits. Doumbia is gone. Leicester want Ben Arfa.
We're signing a...goalie? Know your Matz! I want to believe it's ok to swap Ritchie for Townsend. I do.
Matt Ritchie for Andros Townsend? It's our own Sophie's Choice. The Pixies will help you deal.
So Brexit happened, and it matters to soccer. Thauvin still isn't gone, a US international on the radar and R.E.M. sings you out of the week.
Free John West! Free John West! It's a really slow news day.
Fixtures! Fixtures! Get your fixtures here! Also, my threats worked, and Barney head trouble.
Let me be very clear: keep your filthy hands off of Townsend!
Sissoko: point, counterpoint. Watch your children. Bye Remy. Please take Thauvin. Flight of the Conchords.
The schedule is coming! The schedule is coming! Dakho, anyone? Newcastle Nano. Dempsey does Seattle.
Everyone hates Mike. Everyone like Burkard. I love Iceland. Dwarfication? Of course, transfers.
Tim Krul landing, Ronaldo crying and Socrates to the rescue!
I'm terrified of Mitrovic's son. You should be as well.
Let's revisit the McClaren regime. Of course there is transfer news. How much to get Gini out of the bottle? But there's also dancing and the Ramones.
There's at least one transfer rumor link. That's the only tease you're getting today.
An update on Rob Elliot. Pardew player logic. Mehdi Abeid to return? More Adam Armstrong. Buy a jersey for charity. Help when you need vodka.
Every day is rumor news. Adam Armstrong. Tim Krul. Nano. Chancel Mbemba. But we also have friendly news, the status of Freddie Woodman and freezing sperm.
Can it be good news when you learn one player might be leaving, with another staying? Yes. Yes it can. Of course there is transfer news. And Ashley news. And bears.
Mitro continues to shine. Stay Adam. Another transfer rumor. Let's all hate Arsenal more. Get the anthem right. Monday music by A Tribe Called Quest.
Goodbye Steven Taylor. Hello Kevin Mbabu. Player values, past and present. Villa has their man. Don't buy that diamond ring.
Newcastle coaching moves. A familiar face joins the Championship. Gini scores. Under 21s to watch. Ugly, naked fat guy.
Upcoming matches. Krul to Palace. Heapings of Mitrovic. More McCormack rumors. Doughnuts.
Andros Townsend may be odd man out, Mitrovic may be the king of the second tier and a music video. Plus, relegation by deduction?
Rafa is signed, now onto the business of promotion. Andros and Gini updates, a transfer candidate, the odds are in our favor and men as dogs
It's a new daily segment, and we have a lot of Rafa links for you. For those with beards, we have something for you as well.